In my former life as a Creative Director in radio, we had a new client who sold blinds to homeowners. It was one of those “we bring the store to you” deals. You schedule an appointment, and this company would bring a van full of samples to your home so you didn’t have to go to the store.
This client insisted on writing his own commercial. Lovely. Instead of sending me the script, he insisted on reading it to me on the phone – you know, so I could get the full effect. Even better.
The script started something like this…
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I’m a content writer, marketing consultant, lifelong New Jersey resident, husband to a beautiful wife and father to two beautiful girls. I love playing with my daughters, a day at the boardwalk, sarcasm, craft beer and grilling. I despise beating around the bush, synchronized swimming, Toddlers & Tiaras and onions. Most people don’t know I used to be a radio DJ and once wrote, produced and voiced a commercial for the TV show 24. Two places I want to visit before I die are Ireland and Norway, the homes of my ancestors. One place I never want to revisit is my first apartment because my creepy landlord, Monty, freaked me out. That just about covers it.