The Tragic Comedy of the Malapropism

In a classic episode of Cheers , Norm volunteers to finish ailing Cliff’s mail route. When a cop catches Norm with the mail and arrests him, Cliff is hesitant to set the record straight because he’s afraid of losing his job.

Coach tries to convince Cliff to make the phone call.

Cliff: All right, look… I’ll call and see what the penalty is, but’s it got to be anonymous.
Coach: Everybody in favor of Cliff calling, raise your hand.
(Everyone in the bar raises their hands.)
Coach: It’s anonymous!

One of the more entertaining and often unfortunate byproducts of the recent content explosion is that many of the people who are writing and commenting are actively doing so for the first time.

Some haven’t exactly mastered the English language.

I’m not talking about there-their-they’re. I’m talking about confusing different but similar-sounding words.

The misuse of a word, which often resembles the correct word in sound, is a malapropism.

This term comes from the French word for “inappropriate” and the character Mrs. Malaprop, who habitually misused her words in the Richard Brinsley Sheridan 1775 comedy The Rivals.

Malapropisms often end up sounding funny. In the business world, they sound equally funny, but they can seriously tarnish the image of the person who utters or writes the malapropism.

Here are some of my recent, real-world malapropism experiences:

I commented on a social media post and suggested avoiding any hard selling or overly technical language in blogs. Another commenter replied, “My sediments exactly.”

I didn’t know we shared the same particles that end up on the bottom of a liquid. Or perhaps you meant to say “sentiments.”

The safer comment might have been, “I agree.”

I recently gave a marketing consultant a progress report on content I was writing for the consultant’s client. The consultant replied, “Thanks for keeping me appraised of the situation.”

Well, I didn’t assess the client’s value, the consultant’s value, or the value of the situation. Maybe you meant to say “apprised.”

A safer response might have been, “Thanks for the update.”

I read a blog about yet another Google algorithm update. The author said, “Major changes are eminent.”

Wow, the update hasn’t even been rolled out and it’s already well-known, successful and respected? Or did you mean “imminent”?

A safer sentence might have been, “Major changes are coming soon.”

A gaffe like this is sometimes an honest, one-time mistake. But other people don’t know that. They could consider the gaffe a strike against your credibility or intelligence.

Everything you say and write shapes people’s perceptions of you and your company.

Instead of trying to sound smart or impress people with big words, sound smart and impress them by using simple, easy-to-understand language.

You rarely get bonus points for using big words or clever figures of speech. And you’ll never get any kind of points if you use big words and figures of speech incorrectly.

Simple words deliver more impact. Focus on clarity first.

I leave you with these quotes from the malapropism king of the last 10 years – Michael Scott from The Office, played by Steve Carell (pictured):

“It was for charity. And I consider myself a great philanderer.”
“It is my responsibility as manager of this branch to profligate great ideas.”
“They are in for a bitter surprise. I am not one to be truffled with.”
“It wasn’t me. They’re trying to make me an escape goat.”

Yes, the Scranton branch was always Dunder Mifflin’s biggest revenue producer, so Michael was successful. But he was widely considered a bumbling buffoon, albeit a loveable one.

What kind of perception do you want your words, written or spoken, to create?

By the way, if you found this post to be completely useless, please try to illiterate it from your memory.

Or obliterate it. Or eliminate it. Whatever.